Bracken's Crystal Ball 2012
More predictions from our psychic pooch...
There's been a lot of stories flying about in the press recently about the psychic powers of pets. That's right, mystic mice and telepathic terrapins are becoming quite common but in true BrewDog style we've been one paw ahead of the pack thanks to our trusty labrador, Bracken. Bracken's been dusting off his crystal ball for quite a few years now and 2012 is no exception, so roll up, roll up as we peer through the mists of time at another year ahead.
1.Bracken carries the Olympic torch through the streets of Fraserburgh
With the 2012 Olympics a mere six months away, the hunt has intensified to find a squad of 'local champions' to carry the Olympic torch through our nation's towns and cities. With over five years experience in stick carrying, navigating crowds of cheering people and a background in arson, we believe Bracken to be the ideal candidate to carry the prestigious flame through the streets of Fraserburgh. We've filled in the application form and the small print didn't say runners with four legs need not apply so we'll keep our paws crossed. We are also hopping beer golf and bowling makes it into the Olympics!
2.Martin designs and launches his first line of women's clothing
Our head brewer and BrewDog co-founder, Martin, has a passion – a passion for women's clothing. From the way they accentuate his figure to the range of adorable fabrics which 'just aren't used in men's clothes', Martin has fully embraced female fashion and there's already two videos (http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article/sunk-punk & http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article/brewdogs-alternative-queens-speech) to prove it. So in recognition of this, 2012 isn't just going to be a year that's jam-packed with more awesome, ground breaking beers it's also going to be the year that Martin diversifies his craft by launching a clothing range, designed specifically for 'handsome' women.
3.Equity Punk shareholders each receive a tank in the fight against the mainstream
Our second share offering, Equity for Punks II, recently closed ahead of schedule due to overwhelming popular demand. This means that we now have 5,746 lovely new shareholders that are standing up for the craft beer cause and will be joining us on the front line in the fight against mindless and monotonous mainstream brewing. We're well aware that the road ahead is no walk in the park which is why we're equipping each and every one of our Punks with their very own BrewDog-branded Russian T-90. There really is not better way to draw attention to yourself and your cause than holding up a street with a tank. Fact.
4.BrewDog will succeed in another 'world first'...by brewing the world's first beer exclusively for dolphins
It takes dedication to be a record breaker and thankfully we've got enough of the stuff to have secured us the record of 'world's strongest beer', 'world's first beer to be stuffed inside a stoat', 'world's first beer served from a ghost deer' and also 'world's first beer brewed on the ocean floor'. The latter of which gave us a taste for the majesty of brewing on the ocean wave and since James is an actual sea captain (true story), we have unfettered access to an as yet untapped audience of beer drinkers; like dolphins. Their faces say it all, they will love craft beer and they will love the world's first beer brewed exclusively for dolphins even more.
5.BrewDog creates a university degree programme – BB hons (beer-based honours) in the craft beer revolution
The perfect course for anyone wanting to wanting to learn the ins and outs of changing the face of British brewing, modules on the course include 'guerrilla marketing', 'dressing in leiderhosen' and 'taxidermy for beginners' to name but a few. There's plenty of brewing courses across the country, but few whose dean is a chocolate labrador who's guaranteed to spend most lectures dressed in a sailor suit...or better still, asleep.